Being pastoral also involves looking outside yourself and realizing, in all humility, that you can’t do this alone. Relationships outside the parish—with colleagues in neighboring parishes, with teachers and non-church musicians, with friends outside the area—can help you see yourself and your ministry differently.

From a very practical standpoint, if all your friends and professional colleagues are in the parish where you work, and you leave that job for whatever reason—you lose your community! You’ll still have your friends in the parish; but when you change jobs or (gasp!) retire, your relationship with the parish folks inevitably changes.

Cultivate relationships with a variety of people not limited to where you work. They don’t all have to be deep, deep relationships. They could be as simple as a friend who likes the same kind of movies you do, or a colleague whose advice you have come to trust. It might be a musician in a different denomination who’s willing to try a joint venture—a choir swap one weekend, perhaps. Treasure these friends, because your relationships with them will survive bad times and keep you on an even keel.

Understand that your pastoral ministry is not just to serve those in the parish where you work. To be truly present to your non-parish friends and colleagues is a responsibility—and a great joy. As you minister to them, they minister to you. As you cheer them up and cheer them on, they do the same for you.

And if you’re very, very lucky, they’ll be around for a long, long time.